This is to the people who find it necessary to verbally express all their accomplishments in everyday conversations. To the people who strategically input their achievements into normal “hey how are you” chats with people. To the people who spout off recent attainments like new placements on teams, boat auditions, and trips to New York to audition for SNL, into conversations. If you’re one of those people that finds yourself constantly talking about everything you’ve recently accomplished while donning a fake diffident facade, this is for you. If you’re one of those people that is saying, “but I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished”, you can be proud without telling everyone about it.
Dear Humble Bragger,
Thank you for that information. Before you continue, please shut up. Seriously, just SHUT up. Zip it up and shut it down. Package it up and mail it away because no one wants to read it. Destroy the audio recording because no one wants to hear it. You get the point. I don’t care. We don’t care. No one cares. When you’re asked how your day was we don’t want to hear you recite a list of your recent accomplishments. You know who you are. You’re the person who responds to “how are you?” with, “oh (hand on forehead) (dramatic pause) I’m so tired…because I just got cast in a sketch show and I’ve been placed on a Harold team, and I’m deciding between which talent agency I want to go with (hands up in the air), and I’m getting ready to ship out…you know, on a boat, for Second City, in a few months.” Blah blah blah….you’re the worst. Seriously. The Worst. What are you expecting the response to be after you say something like that? Oh, jeez, rough life, I’m so sorry you’re tired because you’re getting everything you want in life.
If we wanted to dive down into the psychological meaning of things or the reasoning behind your humble bragging, it’s most likely because you’re self-conscious and you feel the need to PROVE yourself to others. It also may have to do with constant need to compare yourself to others. You may also feel that you’re in constant competition with the people you encounter in the community and telling them what you’ve accomplished puts you above them. You think you’re better than someone because of something you’ve accomplished. You’re not. No one is better than anyone. Simply, it also might just be because you’re an asshole.
Let me give you some tips.
1. Let the work speak for itself. You don’t need to say what you’ve accomplished every time you have a run in with a friend. If people wanted to hear your resume they’d ask for it. They’d probably ask for your head-shot too in that case. Some of the most successful people and performers in the world don’t need to talk about it, it’s shown through their work. Think about the people you look up to. Do you think they brag about having a run for 7+ years at the theater. No. They don’t need to. Their work has and always will speak for itself.
2. Stop asking someone how their life is so you can tell them how great yours is. This reminds me of high school and someone saying, “hey how was your weekend” and before you could even start telling them they’d interrupt with, “oh man we went to Davis’s house, it was a total RAGER man, so many people…you missed out.” If you’re intention to start a conversation is to brag about something, don’t even bother starting the conversation. You come off as a pompous ass and your attempt at ‘humble’ bragging is obvious. People don’t want to be around people like you. There’s no point in having a conversation with you because the only reason you’re talking to me is to tell me about all the things that make you better than me or my situation. You’re friends are going to start dropping off the map and stop accepting your calls/responding to texts if you keep this up.
3. Be grateful…truthfully. You’re humble bragging will one day come to an abrupt end because you won’t have anything to brag about anymore. It could be because people don’t want to work with you because…you’re a humble bragger. You come off cocky and ungrateful because of your fake humbleness. It could be because you’ve lost sight of the enjoyment of doing things for the constant need to accomplish things because your’e trying to be better than others, which has impacted your work and your performances. Everything (even life) comes to an end at some point. However, if you stay grateful and do things because you enjoy them rather than because you’re trying to one-up others, you’re going to go very very far. It’s about the journey, not the bragging rights. You can be proud of your work and everything you’ve accomplished without verbally stating it to the world. If you keep it up, you’ll be standing around casually telling everyone everything you’ve accomplishment until there isn’t anyone standing there to listen anymore. Be humble. Truthfully humble.
That’s all,
Truth Teller
